a new space, a new chapter

It has been some time since I wrote. I am still supporting students, faculty, and staff at the University of Toronto Scarborough and preparing to embark on a new adventure as an ADHD Life Coach. This entry is part of my graduation requirements for my program through the International ADHD Coach Training Center (iACTcenter).

I thought it fitting (pun intended) to talk about my first naming of my ADHD with a story about a t-shirt.

Chritsmas gift, circa 2013

This t-shirt was given to me in 2013 by my partner, who was taking a course on Psychodiagnostics as part of her studies. As she read about the characteristics of someone who had ADHD, she thought of me and the primarily hyperactive-impulsive traits I possessed. At the time of the gifting, I thought it was funny that I "owned" this trait and proudly wore it. But there is more to the story than being driven.

The inattentive subtype of ADHD is also something I am quite familiar with and so are so many other people in my life.  For those of you who may be new to my blogging, I am a former public school teacher. I distinctly remember a student who had the inattentive subtype of ADHD who often would daydream, be distracted from their school work, and often disengaged in class. At the time, I did not have a very complex and nuanced reading and understanding of ADHD. At that time, inattention was connected to school-related challenges. I wasn't ready to conceptualize how my inattentiveness affected the people closest to me.

According to the Centre for ADHD Awareness Canada (CADDAC), "ADHD is often accompanied by impairment or weakness in Executive Functioning." There are 3 of 8 key areas or skills from an image on Executive Functions that I will link at the end of this paragraph. Due to copyright issues, I will not post the image from the Colorado and Arizona-based Lively Minds Tutoring. 

Like the student in my classroom, my ability to self-monitor and have the flexibility to change strategies really impacted my ability to stop and think and be present with my family. By no means am I suggesting that there aren't other areas I struggle with, but these are things I never really thought about and how they could impact my relationships with my family.

According to a 2024 February 5 CADDAC Instagram post, "ADHD can be a significant factor in a variety of relationship problems...."For a lot of my adult life, I only understood my ADHD as something that was solely about having challenges with organization, starting and completing tasks, or becoming hyper-fixated on particular tasks or hobbies, and often working myself to exhaustion. Now, I can see how some of my inattentive ADHD behaviours prevented me from being able to self-monitor, reflect, and understand some of my behaviours in my relationships with my family.

This entry is not about beating myself up. It is about feeling a lot clearer and comfortable sharing some of the lessons learned from living with the combined type of ADHD. I am not suggesting that I am a perfect partner or parent. I still need to self-monitor and remind myself to be flexible and open. Knowing these are areas I have had challenges with makes it easier to keep them in check in a manner that is both supportive and accountable. I sense I will always be driven by a motor, but it doesn't feel like the motor will burn out and members of my family are appreciating the more reflective, attentive, and responsive me. I appreciate him as well. 🌻